Thursday, September 13, 2012

Banana Peelin' with Cori Doerrfeld

As a female, I feel I can do it all. I can work, I can blog, I can mother, I can wife, I can neighbor, I can student, I can write, I can read, I can be a fitness goddess.... Ah, well, something's gotta give. We are amazing, us women. And Cori Doerrfeld is no exception. Please welcome the author/illustrator Cori Doerrfeld, a woman who did it all and lived to tell about it.


At some level I feel my entire career as an author/illustrator of picture books has been one banana peel moment after another.  Even though I have published books, that real people can buy at real bookstores, I still somehow struggle to feel successful.  I will say that yes, getting that very first book deal is not easy.  That is often what people want to know from me.  How does one get a book published?  How does one even get a manuscript read by an editor or illustrations seen by an art director? And those are all good questions…but I feel like people don't often think about what happens next.  What IF you get that book deal?  What is it really like to make a living as a freelancer?  I want to share the banana peel moments that I never even saw coming…because I too had never thought beyond my first book deal.


 I did not write my very first published picture book, Brooke Shields did.  And I know that getting to do a book with a celebrity is a once-in-a-lifetime, amazing, true luck experience.  I AM grateful.  But it was not exactly what I imagined it to be.  The book did not lead me to fame and fortune.  First off the fame…no I  never met Brooke Shields.  In fact I never even spoke with her…not even over e-mail.  But that's actually very typical for any author and illustrator working on a book…communication is all done through the editor.  But still…to this day if someone finds out about my book, the first thing they ask is, "Did you get to meet Brooke Shields?" That is what gets people excited, not the book itself.  So naturally I disappoint. 
 As for fortune, I left my full-time job to illustrate the book thinking I would be completely financially secure with a sure best-seller.  Everyone loves celebrities, right?  The reality is that most books don't turn into best-sellers.  I received one royalty check and that is all.  I'm not sure if people consider that as a freelancer,  you truly have no control over whether you make money or not. I know it was a big reality check for me.  The Brooke Shields book was a wonderful experience, but in the end I made more as a nanny…and that income was guaranteed.

 Now the first book did well enough that they hired me to illustrate a second book with Brooke Shields.  This is what lead to perhaps the biggest banana peel of my career.  As I pointed out above, I was in no position to turn down work.  Having left my job, I needed to agree to any book that came my way so I could continue to pay basic bills.  So even though I was about to give birth to my first child, I agreed to illustrate the book.  I know now that I simply didn't understand what having a baby would be like.  Most women take a maternity leave.  Nobody is crazy enough to think that they can give birth and immediately begin work on a very demanding, high-profile job. 
I know now that I was wrong.  I slipped the hardest I ever have in my entire life.  Now for the moms out there, I don't need to go into how exhausting a newborn can be, or how you need to recover not only physically, but mentally, and emotionally.  Life is never the same after a baby is born.  I never considered being up all hours of the night with a colicky baby.  I never considered the strain it would put on my marriage.  I never considered that I wouldn't be able to somehow both care for my tiny infant and create 32 pages of hand-painted, full color art in less than three months.  I guess it is no surprise that I ended up with postpartum depression and a sense of inadequacy about myself as both a creator and a mother that still haunts me today. 
The ironic thing about it all, is that Brooke Shields herself is famous for her battle with postpartum depression.  A fact that didn't really buy much sympathy from the publisher, although they did send me a copy of Brooke's book, "Down Came the Rain".  In the end I did manage to finish the book on time with a small deadline extension.  Seeing the art now is like looking at something painted by someone else.  I cannot even remember how or when I painted that book…but I did. 

My daughter is now four years old, and even has a little brother.  The second time around, I had nothing to work on.  My son's birth and babyhood has been mine to savor.   On the flip-side, nothing to work on does mean no money…but I think being able to treasure the first months of your child's life with even a shred of sanity is worth all the fame and fortune in the world. 


Cori has offered to give away one of my family's favorite books, Little Bunny Foo Foo.  Just leave a comment below describing when you plopped a little too much onto your plate. (This book is fabulous for those times when you DO have too much going on and just feel like bopping something/someone on the head.)


32 comments:

  1. As a Mom of 3 kids, I can so relate to this—the feeling that you can do it all, the disappointment—shock, even—that it's physically and mentally impossible and the realization in the end, that there are some things more important and precious than a book deal—your kids. Thanks for sharing Cori. It's always nice to know you're not alone.

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    1. Thanks for your comment Natasha! As a mohter with two children, I sit here and look at you with your three young ones and think, wow, she's done a lot. How does she do it? Great perspective. =)

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  2. Wow! What a banana peel moment! I can't imagine having a baby and having to illustrate a book. Congrats on your pb career. Looks like you have many pb's to your name! Thanks for sharing, Elizabeth!

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  3. Thanks for sharing your story, Cori. I can't imagine working when I had my first baby...whew...a newborn's demands are impossible to prepare for. Thank goodness it gets a little easier with #2 :)

    I always seem to plop too much on my plate because I raise my hand for everything. Need someone to do the elementary school yearbook? No problem! Chair five other school events? I'm yours! Help edit a neighbor's term paper? Why not? This is the year I'm prioritizing and saying no a little more often. It's really in everyone's best interest that I slow down :) I can't do it all, either and I'm not much fun to be around when I come to that realization.

    Thank you for your terrific blog, Elizabeth!

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    1. You hit the nail on the head Kim. You have no idea how to prepare for a new baby. Nothing will prep you enough for that emotional journey. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts. So glad to have you here!

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  4. Thank you, Cori for your honest and sobering portrayal of children's book publishing. I think many of us have the misconception that celebrity books are huge sellers that steal the limelight from we mortals :-) But it looks like you have a nice career ahead of you, writing and illustrating your own stories. Good luck with that!

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  5. What a heartwrenching story! But you made it through and have created some beautiful books that will be cherised by many for years to come. My hats off to you Cori!

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    1. I am so grateful Cori shared her story. Thanks so much for your comments Heather! Great to see you here!

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  6. Thanks so much Cori for sharing your story. I am right now, as we speak, in the midst of wondering if I am taking on too much in the months surrounding my book release. I see it on the paper, and I think I can do it...but you just don't really know until you KNOW. You know? :-)

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    1. So glad we all have each other to lean on when the going gets tough! It's great to know that others feel overwhelmed. Thanks for your comment Amy!

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  7. Heather said it perfectly, Cori! You've done amazingly and hat's off! Thanks for sharing your story, and good luck with whatever you're working on now :)

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    1. Thanks so much Susanna for your comments and for introducing me to Cori through your blog. I went out and bought her book right after reading your post. My kids thank you too. Especially my son, who loves to bop things on the head. =)

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  8. Thanks for sharing, Cori. I think I had too much on my plate until the last two years. I couldn't say "No!" I think the only reason I say "no" now is because I want so badly to improve my writing. Your books are beautiful. Back when I sold books for an independent distributor, I sold Penny Loves Pink. It's a really cute book. And by the way, my name is Penny and I do love pink :-)

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    1. Ahhh... the old sayng "no" business. Man, doesn't it feel good once you get it down? So freeing! Thanks so much for your comment Penny the pink lover.

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  9. Cori, thank you for such a candid examination of motherhood and work. I watched my fundraising and grantwriting business dwindle as I had first one and then two children. It got harder to meet deadlines the older they got and the fewer naps they took. Just now, with one in kindergarten and the other in preschool three morning a week, do I finally feel I have time to return to "work."

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    1. I was felt so relieved and validated when I first read Cori's post. I knew that it would resonate with so many of us, especially those of us who have had kids. No one can really explain what it feels like to be a mother...all that love. But also how torn one can feel at trying to balance all those other passions. Thanks so much for your comment! I'm glad you have some time now to return to "work". =)

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  10. What an interesting story. Thanks for sharing your humbling experience. it is a reality check for young writers like me. And I feel for you- illustrating with a new born! Thanks for this fun series, Elizabeth. Well, I'd love to get a copy of Little Bunny Foo Foo. I certainly have my plate full- training for my first triathlon, my full time job, transporting my boys to soccer, baseball, cross country, and robotics classes...happening all at the same time, my 2 critique groups, 12x12 in12, and my recent enrollment in the picture book academy by Mira. I could go on... WHEW!

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    1. WHEW!, indeed! Sheesh. Go get 'em Romelle. =) I want to take a robotics class! Thanks so much for your comment!

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  11. Thanks for the share, Cori :D
    It's been many moons ago since my boys were wee-hoppers, but I can appreciate a full plate both than and now!

    I remember my boys singing Little Bunny Foo Foo!
    Now my grandsons sing it :~> Can't wait to read the book!! Great cover!

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    1. Lori! The book is WONDEFUL! A crack up. Thanks for your comment!

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  12. Thank you for all the support ladies! I still feel like every day as both an illustrator and a mother is a learning experience. I also have to remind myself that sometimes when it seems dark, I have to remember to step out from beneath my own shadow!

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    1. Thank you so much Cori for sharing your expereinces. This post is the second most popular post people have visited in the history of the blog.That just goes to show how the far reaching the struggle of finding that balance between the role of mother and professional truly is. I admire you for persevering and for being brave enough to share your struggles with us. I also apologize for misspelling your name in the header. =) I corrected it yesterday. Yikes! Thanks so much Cori!

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  13. I foolishly believed that I could juggle a 35 hr per week job, an internship, and a PhD program. It was when I began to plan our wedding on top of all those things that I crumbled! It was a rough year, but I emerged wiser and more careful about time management. With the arrival of two kids, I learned how to re-prioritize once again!

    Thanks for a fun and helpful interview!

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    1. Cathy! I cannot imagine tying to manage all of that on top of planning a wedding. Poor you! I'm glad it sounds as if you've been nicer to yourself as a result of it. Thanks so much for you comment!

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  14. I ALWAYS put too much on my plate. I volunteer for everything, and think I can do it all. I am now pregnant with my third, and I am still trying to do it all. When will I learn?

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    1. Wow! Well, it seems as though you aren't alone! It does sound like you're are surviving. =) Best of luck to you and this third baby! Thanks so much for your comment!

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  15. Thanks Cori for the insight into your 'shadows', and for your honesty. I think it is so important to share and make our strife known to others - we are not alone in any of our predicaments, especially those feelings we have as young parents. Keep up the beautiful work - I look forward to seeing and reading more!

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    1. Isn't it great to know we aren't alone?! Thanks so much for your comment Julie!

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  16. Ha ha! I copy and pasted Cori's name from the title w/out see in the typo! And yes, the libraries here do have her books!

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  17. Oh, I shuddered in sympathy when I read that Cori agreed to do the second book when she was about to give birth to her first baby. We really have absolutely no idea what it's going to be like after that first baby arrives! I'm so glad she survived to publish Little Bunny Foo Foo, I love that fiendish gleam in Little Bunny's eye.

    My craziest time was the first year of my youngest son's life, Ben had started kindergarten and indoor soccer, Arthur had multiple therapies several times a week and Ethan had to see the orthopedist an hour away once a week for months. I don't think we had a day with nothing scheduled for a good 6 months! Odd art jobs and David's work stuffed in there, too. Whew! Life has calmed down as they've gotten older and we're all much better about saying "yes" only when we really mean it.

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