So this is my first official post and I am not sure who in their right mind will read my thoughts on writing because I am defintely NOT an expert. What I AM an expert at is taking risks and that is exactly what I am setting out to do on my journey to becoming a writer. These past few months, I have sent my manuscripts out along with their at times awkward query letters to agents from coast to coast with hopes of finding representation. With each non-response, autmoated or friendly rejection, I try to stay positive. But I have to admit, sometimes it is REALLY hard to keep my chin up. I have become much more senstive to the critiques of my readers (mostly my husband and mother) and find myself questioning what in the world I am doing. I spend so much time writing these days...in the car when I am stopped at a light, after my daughter says something hysterical at breakfast or in the middle of night, I am finding it hard to focus on school. I would rather be at the libarary in the children's section reading through the picture books or at home reading a YA novel than doing my research.
This weekend, my husband asked me a question I have been dreading for a while now: Do you consider yourself to be a writer? I don't. However much I would love to be able to call myself a "writer", I do not deserve the title due to the fact that writers know what the hec they're doing. When I write, it's like I just spit it up, blah! Like an infant with their oatmeal. Sure, I revise, but any old Joe can do that. So at what point does one truly become a writer? I know that you don't need to be published to be a writer. I know that there are many talented eight year olds who should consider themselves writers. I think there just becomes a point where an author's work becomes an artform, where each time the pen hits the paper is magnificent and beautiful. At least this is what I imagine. I am sure Anne Lamott would disagree. That's why you gotta love her. The title of this blog, Banana Peelin', was taken from Ann Lamott's idea in Bird by Bird, where she admits that everytime she begins to feel confident and proud of her writing and status in the literary world, it is as if she slips on a banana peel and she's humbled back to reality. That is the nature of life and will be without a doubt the nature of my experience as a person on their way to beoming a writer.