Since this blog is dedicated to both the ups AND the downs of becoming a writer, I thought this would be an appropriate post for the site. Because Life happens.
What do you do when you lose your mojo?
This is my grandma. Don't worry, she is much older than she looks.
Her maiden name is Donsbach, which I am sure is very German for tough as nails. =)
It's too bad this picture is black and white, because you can't really see that the red of her hair is only second to the fire in her eyes. We are a feisty bunch, us Donsbach girls. =) You should meet her sister Helen!
Due to a stroke, this last week, we began chasing her from hospital to hospital and began an intense game of musical hotels. I have lost any desire to write. Heartbreak and worry is Exhausting with a capital E. You know your world has been shaken when your heart and mind feel like they have been rocked like a battery operated maraca.
Life. It's a beautiful thing. But when it's bad, it's awful. The pits. Blech. Sometimes, so much so, we don't feel like doing anything. Nada. Zilch.
We all have a different tolerance for pain. Some of us function beautifully while suffering, the rest of us...no so much.
Let us use this high-tech hospital chart I have been staring at all week to explore this idea.
For me personally, I don't think I can function, meaning to create or to be alert to my surroundings, at anything above a five. From level six to ten, fugetaboudit.
I am sure some people feel comfortable being creative while in the depths of despair. They might produce their best work like Sylvia Plath or Fill in the blank.
All I know is I am a happy creative. I do best when things are lookin' good. When the birds are singing and I have a cupboard stocked with coffee and peanut butter. To me that is comfort and comfort is key.
I have made a list of things I have tried this last week to boost my spirits, to try to ease the pain of almost losing a loved one...
1. Wine
2. Hugs
3. Burpees
4. Wine to help recover from the pain of burpees
5. Will Ferrell movie marathon
6. Mexican food
7. Reading
8. Sleeping
9. Blogging about it.
So what do you do when you have lost your mojo?
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Thanks Elizabeth--I hear ya on not being able to be creative on anything above a 5 (I found out this spring I wimp out at about 4!). Personally, I need camping and my camera and lots of sleep. :)
ReplyDeleteSleep. Ahhhhh.... And camping and a camera! Perfect. Nothing like healing while in nature. And photography is a great way to capture all things beautiful in life. Thanks so much Christy.
Delete*hugs* for all you're going through. That's your focus right now, and we are here for you.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was going through the worst episodes with Mum and Dad, I wrote for escape, but that's me. And it wasn't "serious" writing. It was definitely escape into another world for a while and forget the problems writing. We each deal with things differently.
Give yourself permission to pull back from creativity, and to be gentle and tender with yourself as you go through this.
*hugs*
Beth! Thank you so much! I do think these situations lend themselves to great journal writing. I love your thoughts on allowing ourselves to pull back from creativity. Although it frightens me a bit to do so because I wonder if I will ever get my mojo back! =)
DeleteThank you so very much for your kind words Beth. They mean so much.
I also listened to one of my favorite audiobooks, read by one of my favorite people. Her voice soothes me. I listened to it over and over and over again.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I have been rereading one of my favorite picture books, A SICK DAY FOR AMOS MCGEE a lot this past week. Just the message is so sweet. It's like I crave it. I will need to take a visit to the library for a peek at their audiobooks. Great recommendation.
DeleteI'm a firm believer in reading "comfort books" at times like these. Whatever does it for you, read and read and re-read.
DeleteOh my sweet friend... Two peas in a pod we are, no?
ReplyDeleteWell, here's what I've done: I've taken a shower or a thousand. I've talked and talked with the hubbs. I've eaten everything in my pantry- even the stuff I usually gross out on. I've sat and read. But then, I looked at pictures.
Looking at pictures? Really? Well, yes. You see, everyone is smiling in pictures. Everyone is doing something silly, or are standing there proudly with their I'm-cool-enough-for-you-to-take-my-picture face. And you know what? The memories come back. The happy ones, usually. But even when the random UNhappy memory crosses your path, odds are, you'll realize that you came out of that situation A-OK. And instantly, you're uplifted.
Praying for your grandmother and your sweet family. If I know anything, it's that you reached out to the right community for support. Lots of love you you, doll. <3
I hope you know Bethany that I was thinking of you and Renn SO much this week. I am so sorry I could not support you guys more. Hospitals are NOT fun! Blech.
DeleteShowers are the best! And of course you know I love eating. =) It is so funny that you say you looked at pictures. That is exactly what my family and I did. We found some amazing pics of my grandmother and loved marveling at her life in those younger years. Talk about stories to tell?!!
Thank you so much for your kind words. You are so sweet. I have my fingers crossed that those mysterious seizures of Renn have a cure! XOXO
So that's where our Banana-Beth has been! I was just thinking that I hadn't seen your smiling face pop up on fb much recently. I'm so sorry you are going through a hard time. The most uplifting thing I can suggest right now is pouring yourself another glass of that mommy juice and settling down to watch the Olympics. I am obsessed. It is an escape to a place where hard work pays off and dreams come true. And the stories of these people's lives...both challenging and inspirational.
ReplyDeleteAnd don't worry about your mojo. When you feel ready to get back to writing, it will be there waiting for you!
Aw, thanks Amy D.! You don't have to twist my arm to pour myself another glass! The Olympics have been amazing to watch. And you are right, so inspirational! (I would be lying if I said they did not inspire my husband's and my desire to get fit...hence the Burpees) =)
DeleteThanks so much for your kind words Amy!
Oh, I wish I had some good advice, but I've been in a writing funk with a few short peaks at sunshine for months, and I don't even have any reason. I'm sorry for what you are going through and I send good thoughts for you and your grandmother. I love her photo, by the way. Just charming.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Rosi. =)
DeleteWe had it before, right? It knows we are here! Hopefully those muses of ours will make a comeback soon.
Thanks so much for sending those good thoughts. Isn't her photo great?! I love it.
I'm so sorry Elizabeth! Here's to prayers and positive thoughts for you and your grandmother.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Penny! I am so grateful for your positive thoughts and prayers!
DeleteSo sorry to hear what you are having to go through Elizabeth. Don't worry about the writing it will still be there when you are ready for it.Right now take care of yourself. Do whatever it is you have done in the past to escape. I second Amy's suggestion about watching the Olympics, I am a sucker for feel-good stories. I love to eat chocolate or any dessert, watch movies, or dive into a really good book. Sometimes even cleaning and throwing out stuff, makes me feel like I have control over something.
ReplyDeleteDarshana, thanks so much for your kind words. I second the dessert and feel good stories. But I LOVE your idea to clean. I have been cleaning and dusting like crazy the past couple of days and I think it is to feel that sense of control. Very insightful! Take care and thanks for your comment!
DeleteThanks. Glad I could help. Hang in there. :-)
DeleteI'm so sorry about your grandmother, Elizabeth! I'll send lots of positive energy her way! Don't be hard on yourself for not wanting to do anything productive! When I'm really feeling down, talking to my sister always helps. As far as over-indulging in food and drink (beer)? I do both when I'm happy, sad, scared, bored, nervous . . .
ReplyDeleteAhhhh....beer. Yes. I am quite lucky to live in a town where there is plenty of it! We are the home to Sierra Nevada Brewery, THANK GOODNESS! Did you know their pale ale is now in a can AND tastes much better than it does in the bottle? True story.
DeleteMy grandma would love your comment. She's a big fan of beer herself. =) Thanks so much for sending that positive energy her way.
I'm sorry to hear about your grandma, Elizabeth. My dad had a stroke about ten years ago. He survived it, but it's affected the mobility on his left side and now when I look at the way he shuffles when he walks which he can barely do (he's mostly in a wheelchair now), I feel a great sadness for the athletic man he once was. I try to focus on the little pluses like how much he enjoys life and that he's still with us.
ReplyDeleteI really lost my writing mojo though when I got divorced from my ex about 16 years ago. I tried to write through the pain, but it didn't work. The more I tried to create something, the more foreign and unnatural my writing seemed to me. So, I finally had to let it go and let time heal the wounds and bring my mojo back.
Your mojo WILL come back, Beth. But it can't be forced.
My thoughts are with you at this difficult time.
Natasha! So sorry to hear about your dad. It is really hard to watch the people you love age. I am also sorry to hear about the pain you suffered with your divorce. I agree. It's best not to push it. It is just hard when no end is in sight. =) Thank you for your kind words Natasha. I really appreciate it. XOXO
DeleteYour muse understands, Elizabeth. She may just be giving you the space she knows you need and deserve. Like any good friend, she'll be there waiting for you when you're ready to return.
ReplyDeleteDuring tough times that are out of my control, I have always found working physically on a project [e.g. organizing, cleaning, walking/running, a workout] helps. It puts me in control of me. Endorphins are amazing.
Sending light, love, and hugs to share with your family.
Thanks so much Lori. I think you are exactly right on focusing on a physical project. I have been cleaning A LOT and just swam some laps this evening. Both felt great.
DeleteThank you for your kind words! They mean so much!
Thinking of you and praying for you, Elizabeth! Reading inspirational books helps me. But mostly praying and listening to a great Bible study helps. God loves your grandma, Elizabeth!
ReplyDeleteAw...thanks Tina! Reading has helped me a bunch. Thanks so very much for your kind words Tina!
DeleteSo sorry for the tough week, Elizabeth! I hope your grandma is okay. My mojo is on the lam at the moment - I'm hoping to find it in Ohio :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Susanna. =) I hope you find your mojo in Ohio. Seems like a good place for it to be. Why not?!
DeleteYou and your Grandmother are so lucky to enjoy the wonderful close relationship you obviously share. No need to create right now - really. You are living a real and important part of life, and while it's something you may draw on later when you're into another phase, right now just be there for her - and be there for you. You have a free pass to not write just now, if that's what you need. You'll write again when you're ready to - I promise.
ReplyDeleteYou and your Grandmother are in my prayers. Take a hot bubble bath, as needed. Your feisty, gorgeous Grandma appreciates everything you're going through with her - and if you can't follow where she goes next, she's still going to love the paint right off you (as my wonderful Grandmother once told me.)
notanonymously,
Melissa Kelley
Melissa, thank you so much for your heartfelt response. I am very lucky to know my grandmother and also to know you! I really like that saying, "to love the paint right off of you". So sweet. =) Thanks Melissa and take care.
DeleteSometimes it's just part of the plan for a creative person to shut down for a while. When you rev back up, you'll be renewed and refreshed. Grandma knows best. You'd never give yourself a rest, so she's doing it for you - part of the plan. Personally, I turn into the #10 face on the chart and just give in. I'll be sending prayers and happy thoughts your way. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteGrandma does know best! You're right about that! Very refreshing to hear that you just give in. That sounds good right about now. =) Thanks for your kind words and happy thoughts Genevieve. They are much appreciated.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth, I'm so sorry to hear about your Grandma. What a terrible situation. As for getting your mojo back, I always appreciate a walk in nature, a yoga class or a visit to an art museum. Those are some of my "happy places" where I lose track of time.
ReplyDeleteThanks Kirsten. Those are some wonderful happy plaves you got there. Great suggestions. =)
Delete(hug) I love that you posted her photo! I can indeed envision her red feisty flaming locks.
ReplyDeleteIn my experience, mojo comes back with gusto after a tough hiatus like yours. Sending you good thoughts and inner strength.
- Cathy
Thanks for the hug Cathy. =) I love this photo of her, Time does heal and I am noticing that virtual hugs do as well. =) Everyone has been so supportive. It's amazing. Thanks again.
Delete"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." 2 Corinthians 1:3,4
ReplyDeletePraying for you and Grandma!
Thank you Jennifer. =) I just saw last night that you commented on Instagram but I haven't yet figured out how to use it in terms of following and communicating with people. Thank you so much for you concern. It means so much.
DeleteI'm so sorry to hear about your Grandma, Elizabeth. Hospitals, worry and standing in front of the unknown are all exhausting and overwhelming things to face. Your mojo isn't gone, it's taking a backseat to the bigger emotions you need to be in right now. Be gentle and patient with yourself, hug your beautiful family to let them fill your heart with good, loving energy and trust that your creative desire will return when the intensity of this situation lessens because it will. Peace.
ReplyDeleteIs it possible to love someone you have never met in person, Heather? =) I just love you. Thanks so much for your kind words.
DeleteYou are sweet! I would love to meet in real life someday to have a cold drink and geek out over kid's books. :)
DeleteSorry, late here as I no longer have wifi. I can't write either when I am super stressed. Don't sweat it, that isn't your ^pruiority right now. Wishing you loads of wine and chocolate and hugs. And parying for your lovely family especially the gritty Donsbach side!
ReplyDeletexo
No wifi?! That's the worst! And I am not joking. We have become quite dependent on technology haven't we?
DeleteThanks for the yummy wishes. ;)
Sorry to hear about your grandma. You'll get your mojo back. It takes time. Right now, you have a hurdle to jump over One step at a time.
ReplyDeleteWe're all thinking of you now. {{hugs}}.
Thanks so much Sandie for the hugs! That is so sweet of you. =) Thanks for your comment.
DeleteOh Elizabeth, I missed this last week as I was out getting by sister hitched...so many seasons in this life. Your grandmother looks like a pistol from that photo...I can certainly see the spark in her eyes! She surely is crazy about you to pass those along. Thinking of you. Agree with the wine.
ReplyDeleteSaw those pics of you getting your sister hitched. Beautiful girls! There are so many seasons in this life. I was thinking the same thing when my daughter swam for the first time yesterday. It's a beautiful thing. Thank you for your kind words.
DeleteOh I am so sorry your Grandma is ill. It's so hard and sad. Hugs to her, to you and your family and a virtual "click" of my wine glass to yours. Love your funny list- especially number 4 :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks Iza. Clink!
DeleteHaving lost two loved ones this past year..my dad and my brother-in-law I get exactly what you're saying. Vodka helps as does surrounding yourself with family.
ReplyDeleteJanie, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Glad to know you are able surround yourself with family.... and vodka. :)
DeleteSomehow I missed this post, Elizabeth, but when I saw your FB status today about lost mojo I came right over to see how that could have happened! I am sorry about your grandma and send hugs and best wishes. Like you, I am a happy creative - if I don't feel good, nothing comes outta these fingers, and I just sit around like a dishrag. David Sedaris can often pull me back through to the mojo side, or I bake and eat something. Preferably both. I don't drink wine, but I'll raise my beer to you tonight. :)
ReplyDelete