Cheers to Critters and Seven Months

I love my critique groupers. They have given a whole new light to my attempts at writing. I feel like I am really in it now, that progress will be made...someday.  In fact, I am so appreciative for their feedback,  I feel like I should give them a new cuddly nickname like my critters. I love my critters. They do make me feel warm and fuzzy, just like this guy. Thanks ladies!

One thing I must say however is, never open critiques on a big day like your anniversary, or your birthday or your niece's bat mitzvah. Your insides will surely shrivel like a grape in the sun if you are in the wrong emotional state. This is my FIRST RULE OF FIGHT WRITE CLUB.

As  I mentioned in a previous post, if you aren't able to find me at my new writing station, you can probably find me hiding under here.

This is exactly where my loved ones found me this last Saturday, wallowing in self-pity. I know, I know. Ridiculous. The good news is, it only lasted a few hours, or perhaps several hours, okay, maybe a day.

If that was the first rule, the SECOND RULE OF FIGHT WRITE CLUB is:

Don't query manuscripts before you have found your voice. (At least this is a rule I have set for myself.)

How many queries have I sent out with manuscripts written in the world's most awkward voice? Too many. I have one thing to say about me finding my own voice:

 I stinkith so mucheth it hurteth.

I have a dark side. When I say dark side, I mean I like writing about homeless men...who are chipper.=) But I do so much like to write about more serious subject matter than the content of this blog tends to be. It just doesn't come as natural. What can I say? I just feel so comfy-cozy here in the blogosphere... So, I wonder, how do I transfer this thing called voice from my blog to my manuscripts while still touching on those serious issues that interest me?

Maybe it would be easier if I were to make it official by giving my desired transition a title:

Operation Transfer Blog Voice to Children's Book Manuscripts.

(OTBVCBM..which by the way, is just as hard for me to remember as the SCBWI acronym.)

 I just don't get it. It's hard. At least for me it's hard.

To me, I can equate finding my voice hard to trying to learn the SUBJUNCTIVE in Spanish hard. So abstract, so unattainable, so torturous! Will it ever happen? When Universe, when?

THIRD AND FINAL RULE OF FIGHT WRITE CLUB (at least for today):

Give yourself some time to develop as a writer, Elizabeth Stevens Omlor.

I have been attempting to write for children for seven months. SEVEN MONTHS! Sometimes I forget that. I think of one of my favorite authors, Cynthia Rylant, who sent her first book off and then two months later it was on its way to being published. I want to be Cynthia Rylant! Don't you?

Must I toil? Must I suffer? Must I keep complaining? =) NO!

To make myself feel better, I've decided to make a list of all the things that take longer than seven months to develop/accomplish:

• a human being in utero (I love that word, utero.)
• an elephant in utero (Yowza! Two years is it? No wonder they're so amazing.)
• a foreign langauge (Do you hear that public education policy makers?! (Me tardo tanto aprender el idioma. Si, es cierto. No estoy bromeando. La unica cosa es que no se poner la puntuacion correcta en Blogger.)
• algebra skills  (Good Lord do they take longer than seven months. Hyperventilation has begun, along with flashbacks.  "Please don't make me solve for x, Mr. Wenzel!" )
•  shedding baby weight in the real world...(If it took you less time, I'd definitely prefer not to hear about it or see any pictures.)
• I'm beginning to feel better about myself
• my daughter's bangs after an experimental self-trim (first AND second time)
• learning to walk (unless you are a furry, four legged animal)
• learning how to park without hitting the surrounding parked cars (Or was that just me? Yikes! I ALWAYS left a note.)
• sewing skills (Eh.)
• disposable diaper decomposition (But they are so easy! Sorry Mother Earth.)

I am sure there is so much more to add to this list. If you can think of any others, please by any means, let me know. My self-esteem will thank you.

Now, the real reason for this post...the book giveaway!

You read. (past tense)
You laughed.
You cried.
You wrote witty remarks in...CAVE MAN!

It was a tight race, but the winner of the Me Want Pet! book giveaway was....

Penny Klostermann

Congratulations Penny! If you missed her comments you must go take a look. I was very impressed. I was actually so impressed by all the funny posts that my Laugh-O-Meter needs replacing!

I have just opted to use  Random.org for future contests. Which reminds me, if you haven't yet, make sure you read and comment on Lori Degman's post. She is giving away a copy of her book, 1 Zany Zoo and a critique for a rhyming picture book!

One last tid-bit....next Tuesday, March 20th, I will be featured on Julie Hedlund's blog, Write Up My Life! Her Tuesday series spotlights pre-published authors and I would LOVE to see you there!
Happy Friday!

Banana Peelin' with Lori Degman

I love Cheerios and I love moms. Both are so different, but they share one unique quality...intuitive geniusness. 

How would Cheerios know that by unleashing Honey Nut Cheerios serendipitously the year before I was born they would produce a cereal that would bring so much joy to my little heart to this day?

Or, more relevant to this post, how genius was it for the same company to sponsor a children's book writing contest and include children's literature with their product, therefore accomplishing their goal to "nourish everyone by making lives healthier, easier and richer"?

Moms are great too, don't get me wrong. They have a long history of being intuitive geniuses. I know this because I have one and I am one. =) Also, I am sitting here to today, alive, surely not from the intuitive geniusness passed down from father to father, who may have sometimes (historically speaking), unintentionally, overlooked things like sharp scissors and permanent markers in the hands of little ones. =)

I digress.

The point I am trying to make is that both moms and Cheerios alike, know things. Like who is who in Children's Literature. To prove it, we are graced with today's Banana Peelin' author, Lori Degman who was not only chosen to be the recipient of the Gold Mom's Choice Award for Picture Book Humor, but she also won the 2008 Spoonfuls of Stories Contest. I feel so incredibly lucky to have Lori here today to share her own banana peel slips!

Please welcome, Lori Degman!


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Let me start by thanking Elizabeth for allowing me to contribute to Banana Peel  Thursday and to apologize for the stress my absentmindedness must have caused her! My most recent banana peel is occurring as we speak (as I type). I had emailed Elizabeth on January 12th, asking if I could do a Banana Peel Thursday post and she very kindly said yes. She scheduled me for February 16th and, on the 13th she emailed asking if I was still planning on posting. I apologized for forgetting about it and she sweetly asked if the second or third week in March would be better. I said either would be fine and she assigned me the 15h. At the end of February, she again emailed and asked me to send my post by March 11th. I apologized again and optimistically said I would get it to her within a week! Then, tonight, she sent me a gentle reminder (sheʼs SO patient) that my post was to appear in three days! I emailed an apology (are you noticing a pattern here?) and swore Iʼd get it to her ASAP. So, here you have it - an unpolished gem of a post! I couldn't have created a better example of the thousands of banana peels Iʼve thrown in front of myself in the past 20 years!

I know, after I send this to Elizabeth, Iʼll think of a bunch (no pun intended) of awesome banana peel stories I could have told - oh well - such is life. I will, however, leave you with the most embarrassing slip I can think of at this moment. After you read it, youʼll be amazed I was brave enough to share it - I know I am!

In March, 2008, I sent out a manuscript to six large publishing houses - on the same day. I was sure at least one - maybe all - would be sending offers within a week - it was that good! When I returned from the post office, I read my story aloud, imagining the editorsʼ delight, when I noticed three typos in the first two stanzas!! When I finally calmed down (several hours later) I came up with a brilliant solution!

CAUTION - BANANA PEEL AHEAD!!

I knew just what to do - Iʼd write a new cover letter and resend the corrected manuscript. It should arrive just a day or two after the first and surely the editor would remember the original version I had sent - it was that good (despite the typos)! But wait . . . an ordinary cover letter would never do - Iʼd need to show them how extremely creative I am! Below is my “clever” cover letter. This takes guts, if I must say so myself! Gulp!

Dear Editor,

Title: Mia Culpa
Main Character: Me
Problem: I sent you the wrong, imperfect version of my manuscript.
Climax: I panic when I realize my mistake.
Resolution: Very understanding editor reads the attached, updated version and discards the original.
Lesson Learned: ALWAYS have someone proofread your manuscript before sending it out.
Main Characterʼs final line of dialogue: “Iʼm sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused!”

Sincerely,

I know youʼre dying to find out how many offers I received - Iʼll let you figure that out for yourselves :-)

Wow, I canʼt believe I just shared that story! I hope it helps you feel better about some of your own banana peel slips!!

Thanks again, Elizabeth for your graciousness and sorry for the added stress! Do I get to put the cool badge on my blog now?!

P.S.

I knew I'd think of another story - Elizabeth was nice enough to add it to my post after the fact. A few weeks ago, I was at a friend's house, waiting to do a talk at her library's Young Author Award Ceremony. Her 7-year old son brought me a piece of paper and asked me to write my name on it. I thought it was so sweet that he wanted my autograph - what a cutie! Of course, I said I'd be happy to. He handed me a pen and as I began to write, a shock shot all the way up my arm! It was a trick pen!! My friend was so sweet for not letting on that she knew I thought he wanted an autograph. It's a good friend who pretends not to notice when you slip on a banana peel!





Lori Degman is a teacher of deaf and hard of hearing students and lives in Vernon Hills with her husband, John. She has two sons, Sean, 25 and Brian, 22. Her first picture book, 1 Zany Zoo, was the winner of the 2008 Spoonfuls of Stories Contest and was released by Simon & Schuster in July, 2010 . It won the Gold Mom's Choice Award for Picture Book Humor in February, 2012. She is represented by Jamie Weiss Chilton at Andrea Brown Literary Agency.

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Blogosphere, Lori is so generous! (Doesn't she have just the kindest eyes?) She has agreed to not only give away one copy of her book, 1 Zany Zoo, but also a critique for a RHYMING picture manuscript!

If you are interested in receiving either of the following, please leave a comment indicating so below!

Results will be generated through Random.org ( I think I have reached the end of the Smelly Hat Contest Results Generator) and will be announced early next week, so please make sure to leave a comment before Sunday, March 18th!

Also, you should know that Lori has a wonderful blog to follow as well an author website where she offers detailed critiques for rhyming manuscripts so if you don't win, mosey on over to her site to check out all she has to offer!

P.S. Lori...The badge is all yours! Thanks SO, SO much for contributing your stories to the series! =)