Banana Peelin' with Liz Garton Scanlon

I cannot begin this post without mentioning how big of  fans my family and I are of this week's featured author's book, All the World. It is one of my favorite bedtime reads. Sometimes, I will even read it to my children....

With both words and illustrations so peaceful and warm, we point to the lone surfer at the edge of the pier and say how that's daddy, despite the fact he doesn't really surf. It never fails that during each read, my daughter notices that someone forgot their beach ball and my son shouts with excitement, "Tuh! Tuh!" when he spots the old truck, which in two year old means, Tuh-Mater. We are a Cars family. =)

I won't even give you the cheesy rhyming lines I used to try and entice the author to write this post for the series, but just know, they were intended to have the same rhythm of All of the World. (Did I mention I am a delusional rhymer...someone who thinks they rhyme but they really don't?)  Banana peel slip? Yup. More than slightly embarrassing in retrospect? Definitely. 

Lucky for us she was forgiving and kind. =)

Please welcome, the very talented, Liz Garton Scanlon.

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As I got started in this field, I took one banana peel slide after another, in part because I knew nothing about picture books – except that I loved them.

So. I wrote long, rambly texts with irregular rhyme.

I simultaneously submitted to editors who’d asked for exclusives.

I whined impatiently about how long everything took.

(Everything DOES take a long time, and I still whine some, but now I know it as part of the package rather than taking it as a personal affront.)

I revised endlessly – without contracts.

I signed contracts without understanding them.

I did a lot of things for free.

(Until my husband reminded me about the mortgage and all.)

I shared cover images before I was supposed to, got in touch with illustrators before I was supposed to, and lord knows I pressed send before I was supposed to. Many, many times.

And then there was the infamous school visit.

I forgot to get specific directions so I got lost on the way there.

Pre-smart phone.

I forgot to say I could do 3 or 4 presentations in the course of a day.

So I did six.

I forgot to confirm that there would be a projector waiting for me.

So there wasn’t.

I forgot to ensure that there’d be at least 10 minutes to breathe and swallow in between presentations.

I was positively Victorian in my swooning by the final bell.

Oh.

And.

I forgot to say that I speak very, very, very little Spanish.

Unlike everyone else at the school.

I ended up singing the Spanish songs I learned in elementary school, and excitedly calling out things like “palabras” or “escritas” whenever an old scrap of knowledge popped into my desperate brain. But mostly? I smiled. And I said, “Thank you, thank you. Gracias, gracias.”

And at the end of the day, as I stood there with raw tonsils and bleeding eyeballs, that’s what the students and librarian said, too. “Thank you, thank you. Gracias, gracias.”

We’d survived.

Liz Garton Scanlon is the author of the highly-acclaimed, Caldecott-honored picture book All the World, illustrated by Marla Frazee, as well as Noodle & Lou, illustrated by Arthur Howard, and A Sock is a Pocket for Your Toes, illustrated by Robin Preiss Glasser. Her next book will be out later this spring: Think Big is illustrated by Vanessa Newton and it celebrates the many varied forms of art. Future books include Happy Birthday, Bunny, illustrated by Stephanie Graegin, due next year, and The Good-Pie Party and Thank You, Garden, both due in 2014. Ms. Scanlon is assistant professor of creative writing at Austin Community College and is a frequent & popular presenter at schools, libraries and conferences. To learn more, visit her web  site at www.LizGartonScanlon.com

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After reading this, my former teacher self began to sweat. I think most teachers would agree that the only thing that is guaranteed as soon as you step onto a school's campus is Murphy's Law!

Thank you so much Liz for your contribution to the series! Gracias. Gracias. =)

Also, thank you readers for stopping by. Make sure to check out Liz's blog this month where she is writing a haiku-a-day all April in honor of National Poetry Month!

 

Banana Peelin' with Marsha Diane Arnold

Sometimes people leave impressions on you without you ever having to really get to know them too well. Have I ever met this week's Banana Peelin' author in person? Nope. But my interactions with her lead me to believe that she is a kind, gentle, and remarkable human being. Even Blogger sensed this about her. I have never had an easier time formatting the body and pictures for a blog post than I did for today's. All is right with the universe as I introduce this week's guest author, Marsha Diane Arnold...

Peel them, don’t slip on them.

Banana peels hold delicious fruit.  Don’t be afraid of them.  Peel them and enjoy.  That’s my recommendation.

Seriously, we slip on banana peels for two main reasons: we’re too busy to see them in our path or we’re not prepared.  At least two of my banana peel slips are directly the result of these reasons.

The Bookstore Slip

It was a lovely little independent bookstore in San Francisco.   They’d invited me to visit during an already overbooked month, but I was determined to support their store and promote my books.  I’d be returning from two weeks of out-of-state visits, then flying off again the following week, but I was intent on fitting the bookstore into my out-of-control schedule. I arranged my flight to arrive home the night before the bookstore visit. I felt like Wonder Woman.

     I arrived home absolutely exhausted, not feeling like Wonder Woman at all.  The next morning I was so grateful to be home.  I made a cup of tea, walked to my office, and stared at 200 emails awaiting my response.  I started responding.  Half an hour before I was supposed to be reading Roar of a Snore in front of a roomful of children at the bookstore, I stood up and screamed.  I’d totally blacked out the bookstore visit.  There was no way I could make it in time unless I turned into Wonder Woman herself, and I didn’t think that was going to happen.  My face turned red even though no one was around.  I made the call, embarrassed and apologetic. 

What was the reason for this banana peel moment?  No, truly, it wasn’t old age or lack of intelligence.  The reason was I was too busy.  Overbooked. It’s been years since that slip occurred and I still feel guilty about it. 

What to me is overbooked may be a walk in the park to some “energizer bunny” authors.  But that’s not me.  If it’s not you, don’t overbook.  Stay away from that banana peel.

The School Visit Slip

I’ve done lots of school visits over my author career.  Usually I’m well prepared and we have a great time.  But sometimes, after several full days of presentations, my voice starts to waver.  The voice waver was the beginning of this banana peel moment.

Standing in front of a group of 200 4^th and 5^th graders, I was doing my thing, walking the walk, and talking the talk.  I had a hands free lavalier mic, my favorite.  Sometimes though, even with a mic, the voice breaks down.  I started to cough.  I couldn’t stop. I looked in desperation at the closest teacher and handed her one of my books.  She started reading as I hurried back stage to find my magic cough syrup and get my voice under control.  I must have been back stage a full 40 seconds before another teacher arrived to remind me my mic was still on.  An auditorium full of kids and educators had been listening to me cough for nearly a minute!  Thankfully, I don’t think I cursed between coughs, but even so, it was a definite banana peel slip.  Very unprofessional. 

Truthfully, I might not have been able to prepare for this.  Oh, maybe I could have taken voice lessons or practiced strengthening my voice an hour a day.  But I’d rather spend my time writing.  Maybe I could have been smart and calm enough to turn off my mic.  But I panicked.  If you’re unprepared, you panic. 

So, be prepared.  Stay calm.  Avoid that banana peel slip.

There’s one more slip I feel compelled to share.  It’s the dreaded…dum, da, dum, dum…

Procrastination Slip

There have been many times when I had a wonderful idea for a story, but I didn’t move on it.  It sat in my “story seeds” file or the back of my mind for a month or a year or five years.  I always believed I would get to it “some day”.  Then the day comes when I see “my story” sitting on a bookstore shelf or “my story” winning an award.  Of course, that’s illogical as I may never have been able to pull it off.  Still, it saddens me and it’s all because of procrastination. 

We all have more ideas and more stories than we’ll ever have time to write.  But every so often, we should take the time to consider those ideas and prioritize them.  There might be one that is timely or unique or so compelling that you’ll want to put other projects aside for awhile. This is not to say you should abandon the story closest to your heart.  That story always has priority.

Looking at the procrastination slip from another angle, it may also be true that if you procrastinate and never move at all, you will never slip on a banana.  But if you want your writing dreams to come true, you must risk a bruise or two and move ahead.  Almost all writers endure what feels like a banana peel slip when their precious story is rejected.  Those are slips we must get used to.  We must slip right back up after those rejections and work smarter and write better.  My first book, Heart of a Tiger, was rejected 13 times before I found the editor who loved it as much as I did.  It’s my top award winner now, still in print after 17 years.  So, always pick yourself up and try again.

Thank you, Elizabeth, for inviting me to share my slips. 

I wish you all delicious bananas in pursuit of your writing dreams and very few banana peel slips.

Marsha’s Bio:

The media has called Marsha Diane Arnold a "born storyteller" and a "magician of literary innovations." Her literary pathway began with the much-loved, award-winning newspaper column "homegrown treasures." Soon Marsha was writing for kids' magazines and in 1995 came her first book, Heart of a Tiger, for which she won the Ridgway Award for Best First Book by a New Author.

Other awards include Smithsonian Notable Book for The Pumpkin Runner, Junior Library Guild Selection, IRA Distinguished Book, and state Children's Choice awards for Heart of a Tiger, Kansas State Library's 150 "Best" Books for The Bravest of Us All, Notable Social Studies Book for The Chicken Salad Club, and a Family Choice Award for Hugs on the Wind. Roar of a Snore was twice selected for Dolly Parton's Imagination Library and her early reader Quick, Quack, Quick has sold over half a million copies. Her stories have been called "wacky," "whimsical," "inspiring," "beguiling," "heartwarming," "uplifting," "great read-alouds," and "a must-have for all libraries".

When not creating imaginative worlds and wacky characters at her home in northern California, Marsha enjoys traveling the world, scuba diving, and (like her characters) always trying new things. To learn more about Marsha's books or to contact her, visit her website, www.marshadianearnold.com, or blog, www.storymagician.com.

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Thank you SO much Marsha for taking the time to contribute to this series. Between your story and one unforgettable episode of 30 Rock, I don't think I will EVER wear a microphone to present. I would just KNOW that some kind of humiliation would be inevitable!  Best of luck to you!

Banana Peelin' with Tammi Sauer

Don't you ever just wish you could go back to the good ol' days when life was a little more simple?  When we didn't have to worry about things like traffic jams, computer malfunctions, too many choices on the shampoo aisle or tiny, wild children tugging at parents' heart's strings over wanting certain, eccentric pets?

What? Kids did that back then too? Nevermind. I guess the brilliant children's author, Tammi Sauer has discovered evidence from way back, when we all lived in caves and communicated by shifting our bushy unibrows up and down while shouting "Ooga!". Her new book, Me Want Pet!  offers some extremely rare, illustrated documentation of an actual cave boy wanting to bring inappropriate animals home to live as pets.


What's that? The same Tammi Sauer has also had some humbling/embarrassing experiences in her writing career? 

I'm impressed!

From cave boys to banana peels, let's give a big cave people welcome to the well rounded Tammi Sauer, today's Banana Peel Thursday guest author! (Ooga!)


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Banana Peels:

Whew. I’ve been in this business since 2003, so I have had a lot of banana peels. Let me just share three:

I drove over an hour to get to a school visit only to arrive and realize I was wearing mismatched shoes.

At my daughter’s basketball game, a lady recognized me from a newspaper article. She brought her son over to me and said, “Garrett, this lady is an AUTHOR!” I pretty much did a hair toss in front of my friends because it was cool for them to see me in my author groove. Then Garrett said, “Are you ROSEMARY WELLS?!” Uh, no.

The Oklahoma SCBWI RA is Anna Myers. Anna does countless things for our group, including having her good-spirited husband Johnny help out behind the scenes at every conference.  Our most recent one was held at the First Baptist Church in a small Oklahoma town. Prior to the start of the conference, Anna and I were visiting in the church parking lot when a pick-up truck pulled up next to us.  Glancing at the driver and assuming he is Johnny, I say, “Hey, handsome. Come join us.” Turns out the driver wasn’t Johnny. He was the minister.

And now I’m forever known as the person who tried to pick up the minister at the SCBWI Conference.

Bio:

Tammi Sauer has sold eleven picture books to a number of major publishing houses. In addition to winning numerous awards, her books have gone on to do great things. Cowboy Camp was developed into a musical by the Katy Visual & Performing Arts Center in Katy, Texas. Mostly Monsterly was selected for the 2012 Cheerios Spoonfuls of Stories® program. And Chicken Dance was recently released in French which makes her feel extra fancy.

Tammi’s latest book is Me Want Pet!, illustrated by Bob Shea. OOGA!

Bawk and Roll, illustrated by Dan Santat, will be available at a bookstore, library, or barnyard near you on April 3, 2012.

www.tammisauer.com

Tammi’s Books:

Cowboy Camp (Sterling, 2005)

Chicken Dance (Sterling, 2009)

Mostly Monsterly (Simon & Schuster, 2010)

Mr. Duck Means Business (Simon & Schuster, 2010)

Me Want Pet! (Simon & Schuster, 2012)

Bawk and Roll (Sterling, 2012)

Oh, Nuts (Bloomsbury, 2012)

Princess in Training (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2012)

The Twelve Days of Christmas in Oklahoma (Sterling, 2012)

Nugget and Fang (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2013)

TBA!!!(TBA, 2014)

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 Did you notice a trend on Ms. Sauer's book list starting with Me Want Pet!? The year 2012 seems to be a pretty busy year for Tammi!  I am so grateful that she agreed to share her experiences on the Banana Peel Thursday series. 

This is just one of the stops she is making along her week-long blog tour. Please make sure to check out the other sites to learn more about the author and to enter to win her new book....Wait, what? Others are giving away her book, Me Want Pet?  Maybe I should too! 


BOOK GIVEAWAY....


Here is the deal. The thing that I have really liked about communicating with Tammi is that she has a great sense of humor. I have never seen or participated in so much cave man talk since buzz of her book began. 

So.... as a person that:

a) is fascinated with languages
b) loves to laugh

I am proposing that the person who creates the most humorous comment in reaction to Tammi's post in "cave man" language will win this wonderful new book!

(You can just devote a piece of your commentary for this purpose. Please indicate if you are interested in the book giveaway. Just post it below in the comment section by the end of Sunday, March 11th, PST.)

FINE PRINT: Contest results will be measured by a laugh-o-meter bought especially for this event. Know that objectivity is highly valued. Any complaints in regards to conduct or suspicions of foul play must  be directed to Lana Pinebane, official spokesperson for BPT.

Me Want Pet! Blog Tour

Monday, March 5th:       Literary Friendships

Tuesday, March 6th:      Writing for Kids (While Raising Them)

Wednesday, March 7th:  Random Thoughts

Thursday, March 8th:     Banana Peelin’ ...(That's me! Eeek! I mean, ooga!)

Friday: March 9th:         Jama’s Alphabet Soup 

Introducing.... Banana Peel Thursdays!

Hello world!

So excited you could join me.  Well, today is the DAY! I would like to present to you my new weekly feature...Banana Peel Thursdays! 

What the heck does that mean?

Well, long, long ago...in December, I started this blog to document my own experience of becoming a writer of children's books, the ups, the downs and the down-right embarrassing. I have met some amazing individuals along the blogging way and have been very impressed by what they contribute to the online writing community. I was so inspired that I decided I wanted to contribute in some way as well. Having virtually no experience under my belt, I was at a loss. Then it hit me (it flew across the kitchen) ... a banana peel! That was it!

Banana Peel Thursdays are about validating the experiences of all authors (pre-published and published), recognizing that we are not alone in defeat and comprehending the fact that we ALL are susceptible to slipping on banana peels. This weekly feature will contain stories straight from the mouths of talented, published authors who are willing to describe their not-so-perfect experiences in their careers as writers. Each week I will post the story of a different children's author detailing their most humbling moments, often accompanied by other fascinating realizations they've faced along the way. 

I feel so lucky to have been in contact with such talent and that their work has graced my email inbox! They are truly great sports!  I hope that not only will these authors' stories humanize the experience for all of us who choose to write for children, but that these posts will allow the participating writers to be recognized and appreciated in the craft to which they have so wholly devoted themselves. 

Thank you so very much for joining me for the FIRST Banana Peel Thursday! Please be sure to subscribe to the blog or have posts emailed to you so that you don't miss out on all the greatness coming your way!

With that said, ehh hemmmm....I would like to introduce the first children's author to be featured...the wonderful Susanna Leonard Hill!

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Elizabeth had this inspired idea.  "Let's get published authors to entertain up-and-coming writers with stories of when they were humbled, embarrassed or hit over the head with an aha moment."  Well who am I to say no to that?  The only question is which one of my MANY humiliating, embarrassing moments to share :)  Perhaps instead of one banana peel, I'll share a whole bunch.

My first book signing: I arrived at a local public school's book fair and sat before a cafeteria table that was FAR too big for my one little book. 

 I was not the only author in attendance.  Amy Axelrod was to my left.  Her table groaned under the weight of her numerous books, in hardcover and paperback, so many that the table couldn't hold them all and she had to stack some on the floor.  Charles Smith was to my right.  Same situation - countless amazing, very popular books.  Two other authors had fewer books than Amy and Charles, but way more than me!  Children and parents flocked to Amy and Charles and the others.  I sat there, hoping someone, anyone, would ask me to sign at least one copy of my little book.  I felt so small.  I remember hoping that a day would come when my table didn't look quite so empty!  Maybe I wouldn't have as many books as Amy and Charles - but at least two would be nice :)

My first school visit: Nobody told me what was involved in a school visit.  My friend, owner of a local bookstore, signed me up for the gig.  "What do I do?" I asked him.  "Just go and read your book," was his glib reply.  Well, this was hard enough.  What if they didn't like my book?  After all, they were in kindergarten and The House That Mack Built was really intended for preschool.  But I could read a book.  Except it turns out? it only takes about 4 minutes to read Mack.  I was supposed to keep 40 kindergartners entertained for 30 minutes.  I read the story and then we stared at each other.  I had no idea what to do next.  My hands began to shake.  My mouth was so dry I could barely articulate.  My teeth began to chatter with nerves and I had to clench my jaw to keep it under control.  You cannot rely on kindergartners to have useful questions to ask that you can take time answering.  The responses to "How old are you?" and "My uncle has a truck" are fairly limited :)  I found out the hard way exactly how long 30 minutes can be.  But the next time I went on a school visit you can bet the farm I was prepared!

My first conference: I was invited to speak at a conference for teachers.  Yikes!  I had grown fairly used to doing presentations for kids and was comfortable with that, but grown-ups!  That was a whole other thing!  The conference got off to a great start, though.  As I stood beside my table (now thankfully with a few more books on it!) a group of teachers approached purposefully.  Wow!  I thought.  They're coming over to look at my books!  How wonderful is that?  "Excuse me," said one of the ladies.  "Can you tell me where the rest room is?"  Oh.  A few minutes later, another woman approached.  She held a copy of someone else's picture book.  "How much is this?" she inquired.  "I'm sorry," I said.  "I don't know."  "Don't you work here?" she asked.  Well, actually, no.  Did my little name tag saying children's author and presenter not let her know who I was?  Did the sign saying "Author Signing" not clue her in?  You will be happy to know that I was able to point many visitors to the rest room that day.

Future Submissions:  After I got my first contract I was filled with confidence.  I was going to be a published writer!  I had written something that someone valued!  Well!  I was full of ideas.  I had plenty more where Mack came from.  I wrote and wrote and wrote.  And I waited for the next call with an offer.  Surely it would come soon!  Except you know what?  It didn't.  Turns out being published once is no guarantee of future publishing contracts.  I'm sure you all know this, but it came as a surprise to me.  At this point I have sold 9 books in the US and 1 in the Netherlands over the course of 10 years, which works out to about one a year, although that's not how it actually happened (I had 3 in one year once.) 

I am thrilled beyond measure to be able to say this.  Proud of my accomplishments.  But confident?  Not so much.  Published or not published, writers (and this is probably true of all creatives) are subject to discouragement, self-doubt, worry that they'll never have another good idea, or that they'll never publish a book (or another book).  Getting published doesn't make those things disappear.  In fact, sometimes, it makes them worse because you think, I did it before, why can't I do it now?  On the other hand, getting published really is magic.  It's a dream come true.  And I wish it for everyone reading this.  There is nothing, and I mean nothing, that compares to that phone call telling you an editor loves your story and is making you an offer to publish it :)  It won't make the writing easier.  It won't change who you are.  But it will certainly make you feel, at least for a while :) that all the hard work is worth it.

Thank you so much for inviting me to be part of the inaugural Banana Peel Thursday!

Susanna Leonard Hill is the author of  The House That Mack Built (Little Simon 2002), Taxi! (Little Simon 2005), Punxsutawney Phyllis (Holiday House 2005), No Sword Fighting In The House (Holiday House 2007), Not Yet, Rose (Eerdmans Books For Young Readers 2009), Airplane Flight (Little Simon 2009), Freight Train Trip (Little Simon 2009), Can't Sleep Without Sheep (Walker 2010), April Fool, Phyllis! (Holiday House 2011), and Beer Is Zo Moe (Veltman Uitgevers, 2010)  For general interest, Phyllis was translated into French for Scholastic Canada and published as Debout Marmotte.  Airplane and Freight Train are available in Japanese (I'm not even going to try to write the titles :))  Not Yet, Rose is available in Dutch as Een broertje of een zusje, Roos?  And Can't Sleep is supposed to be coming out in Korean one of these days... 

Please support Susanna by checking out her delightful books!

If you would like more information on Susanna and her work or should you wish to contact her, you can visit the following sites:

 Website: http://www.susannahill.com

 Blog: http://susannahill.blogspot.com

 Face Book Page:  http://www.facebook.com/pages/Susanna-Leonard-Hill/246146107330

Thanks so much for visiting and a special thank you to Susanna for putting yourself out there and for even considering opening my email regarding this project! =)

Public Reading, Number One. Check!

"Listen with your ears and imagine with your brain." she whispered to the group of  four year olds seated like pretzels on the wooden floor beneath her.

Yesterday was the first time I read one of my manuscripts publicly and in front of an audience of its intended age group. My daughter is "child of the week" at her preschool. Yes folks. This means she gets to stand at the front of the line on several different occasions throughout out the week as well as share her special toys and  pictures of her life. She also has taken it upon herself to remind us lowly folk at home of her special powers,  as she delegates where each family member will sit at the dinner table or notifies us she gets to butter her own bread. "I'm child of the week", she proclaims.

During this week, many parents when it's their student's turn to be "child of the week", present special things related to their child's life. A daddy park ranger lugged in a beautiful piece of wood, native to the area he works. A farmer grandpa and his duck serenaded the class with a guitar song he had written about his grandson, (FYI the duck was just there for moral support-no serenading done on his part. ) Immediately I fantasized about my husband,  being the involved and silly daddy he is, to go in front of her class to play one of his instruments or do magic tricks, etc. Unfortunately, the man has to work.

So what could I offer as the ambassador of my family? I brainstormed and came up with a multiple choice quiz for you. (WARNING: Former teacher in me resurfacing)

I could...

a) do some Salsa moves I learned abroad, where my movements might slightly resemble Elaine's exotic  moves from Seinfeld.
b) relive my sixth grade experience of singing solo in front of a cringing audience of parents, teachers,   and students
c) share my first silly story I ever wrote in my whole, entire adult life 
d) all of the above
e) none of the above

If you guessed (d), you are absolutely WRONG! The correct answer is (c)!

The hours leading up to the reading were intense. My hands were sweaty. A big part of me was doubting if I could pull off reading a story, without any pictures, to a group of preschoolers.  I kept asking my daughter, "Are you sure you want me to read the story today?", half-hoping (keyword = half), that she might give me a good reason to back out of the promise.

As I practiced my reading in front of the mirror and repeatedly recited the mantra: "I am a capable person. I can read to four year olds. I am a capable person. I can read to four year olds", I tried to snap myself out of those nagging feelings of insecurity and to remind myself  of the fact that I am a former high school teacher for Pete's sake!

Then I realized, it wasn't about speaking in front of  kids. It was about sharing my own story with those for whom it was written. This was to be my first test. Would my story stand a chance?
As I sat before the small audience of four year olds, teachers, and parents, before I began to read, I glanced over to my daughter seated on the stool next to me for some reassurance. She yawned. Not a good sign.

And then it came back to me. Just like they say, it's like falling off a bike, I mean, riding a bike.  I found myself prepared to read just as I would if I were reading something  for the first time with a group of my own students.

The following reading practices came back to me just in the nick of time (hallelujah!):

a) pre-reading questions to ensure comprehension of key vocabulary in the reading
b) silly questions to engage listeners in the content of the book
c) check for comprehension questions throughout the reading

Well, I am still alive and kicking and I must say that these three, last minute components really helped me along in this first adventure. (Not to mention a whole lotta coffee!) 
I would love to know, what experiences have you had reading your work to audiences? What helped to make or break your experience?


P.S. I would love to deliver a quick, too-late disclaimer for a previous post...
Conversation between husband and wife:

"Zombies? You called your blog readers zombies?"

What? Is that what is sounds like? No! That isn't what I meant! There was that picture at the top? The women in the picture reminded me of some batch of creepy Twilight Zone zombies. They were wearing rather large clocks that reminded me of all the deadlines fast approaching! Uh oh."

That is the problem of the digital age. You don't have the opportunity to explain yourself or to see the reactions of your comments in person, as I did with the audience of little four year olds seated in front of me just yesterday.

I would never think to call any person a zombie unless they were a tad grey and trying to eat me. I apologize for any confusion and disgust I may have caused. =)